Time For A Change
by VisualIDentificationZeta
Summary: HarmJen SUMMARY: six months after she left the Navy Jen has finally decided that the time has come for her and Harm's relationship to move forward. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Time For A Change

AUTHOR: Vid Z.

PAIRING: Harm/Jen

TIMELINE: Season 10, April 2005

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

WARNING: this is graphic M rated material, so be warned. You have to be at least 30 to read this stuff :) It's smutty smut starting with part 3.

Do NOT read this while at work, for your own good.

SUMMARY: a six months after she left the Navy Jen has finally decided that the time has come for her and Harm's relationship to make the next step. The way she makes him know leaves no doubt in his mind. It's M rated for a reason...

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I step into my apartment after a long day at work. Sometimes I really wonder why I'm still bothering. I should just quit the Navy, for real this time, and go do something which will at least hold my attention and my heart.

JAG has become a routine, one I can't get rid off and one which is ultimately unhealthy. Staying in a job which does not interests you anymore, one you can't find any joy in, is not a good thing to do.

I need to at least get away from the HQ, to get myself out of the rut and start afresh.

Perhaps it's time to take that retirement when my 20 are up?

Cases all look the same, unchallenging, one true criminal after another, not one innocent person among them. My gut instinct, which always served me well with identifying an innocent preson being framed, has been silent for months.

The office environment is even worse. We've lost many people in the few months before that day, people who would never be replaced.

Even though I didn't get along with the Admiral for over a year before he resigned he still was a part of JAG. Now he's a pensioner and visiting baseball field... Have never expected that of him, since he never showed any particular liking for that game. Maybe Mac and I have finally gotten to him and he lost his sanity?

My friendship with Sturgis is in tatters. Last year I was convinced it couldn't get worse. How wrong I was. Just weeks ago the man I considered my oldest and closest friend actually recommended I get charged with murder! Didn't even do a full and thorough investigation, he didn't even trust me when I told him that plane was headed for the rig.

Harriet resigned at the same time as the Admiral. She decided that family is more important than the Navy and I have to say I agree. She's got the right idea and of course the reason to fulfill it. I would've put family ahead of the Navy too if I was in her shoes. Harriet has 4 children now and a spouse, so it's no wonder that she gave up the Navy to raise the kids. Because of the number of kids she has she was faced with an ultimatum: either she sacrifices her family, her children, on the altar of her career; or she sacrifices her career for her children. She made the right choice, if anyone asks me. At least they'll know she's the Mommy and not that nice lady who comes to visit in the evening, while they think Mommy is the baby-sitter or the daycare worker. I myself have nothing, no loved one, waiting for me to come home every day. If I had at least a wife I don't think I would hesitate resigning if it was better for my marriage than staying in. Guess I'll never find out.

As a consequence, Bud is as happy as a clam to have Harriet at home taking care of the brood.

Mac... Hm. Mac, now that's a complicated tale. When I made that deal with her 6 years ago I really thought we had a chance, that we'd have a child and everything that goes with it. A marriage and the whole package. I just didn't count on us changing so much in the meantime, to the point of becoming incompatible. Life is what happened.

As they say: life is what happens while you're making plans

Since then we both had other... interests. I made a miscalculation believing she wanted the same as I did after Renee and Brumby left, somehow believing we would both stay single so we could fulfill our deal and get together. The last thing I expected was for her to break it off permanently only 1 year before we would make good on the deal, cut any chance for a future together at the knees and get together with the last man I'd ever expect.

Then May 2004, the day our deal should've been cashed in, rolled around and she was still with him. Then he was gone. Then there was Tanveer. Mac really knows how to pick 'em. Then Christmas came and Mac made some promises about not pushing me away anymore, which she broke within days. Like when Jordan's friend came onto the scene and Mac was back to pushing me away.

And now she's found another interest, namely one LT Gregory Vukovich.

Over the past few years I've learned (yes, I CAN learn from my mistakes) that I shouldn't get involved in Mac's relationships with other men, it'll only make her angry at me and as a consequence I'll get hurt. Which means this time I won't get involved and try to make Mac see reason so she'd stop this before the shit hits the fan and I won't try to talk to her about the smartness of what she's doing.

I've also thankfully grown out of the jealousy I felt when Mac was with another man. I'm glad for this, because it was one of the things that made my life harder and more bitter than it needed to be and it also means that having Mac in my life is not a condition for my hapiness any longer. By the end of 2003 it's become obvious to me that I would never have her in my life like that, so it's good that I don't need her anymore. I want a life and I want a family, I want it before I get too old to be able to have it, and that is something I will never have with Mac, no matter how long I would wait and even if she didn't have endometriosis. I'm glad I've moved on, now I can finally start living for real, something I should've done years ago.

I can finally move on and insure that Mac and I both can finally start living healthy lives and find someone who will truly make us happy. We haven't made each other happy in a long while and it's about time this mutually-destructive behaviour stops.

I hope she finds happiness in her life and I hope I find it as well.

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	2. Chapter 2

Okay, this is the last "innocent" part and it's also where the real action starts. The next is the beginning of M rated stuff, graphic descriptions of anatomical parts (I tried to avoid vulgar words for them as much as possible) and of sex. So, scram if you're not supposed to be reading this. Others enjoy!

Loved the reviews, keep them up!

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You claim I forgot someone.

I didn't.

I intentionally left her for last, because she's yet another complicated chapter in my life and also the most important one.

Jen is another person the JAG lost in the last year. Instead of moving out, as she said to me she would after the Pia incident, she resigned from the Navy and went to College full-time, taking a part-time student job. She's been out of the Navy for 6 months now and from what I can see she's thriving. I'm glad for her. She's enjoying her life and it's been a long time in coming for her. She deserves it.

When she resigned I feared we would lose the final thread of connection we've established during the time Mattie lived here.

Thankfully that didn't happen and, if anything, we've grown even closer. Over the past few months Jen has relaxed a lot in our interactions and it made me realize it was her who always insured our relationship stayed completely professional. Well, as professional as it could with being neighbors and parts of a family unit and all...

I admit it. I've always been pretty lax in my interactions with ALL junior officers and enlisted, I've always treated them more like friends or equals than subordinates. Even with almost 24 years in this uniform I could never adopt that philosophy so many other officers have, namely that enlisted are second class citizens.

Even though it's against protocol I've always treated them like friends, unless they were suspects or just plain bastards.

This didn't change when Jen moved in next door. It only got more complicated. I never made any advances towards her, but inevitably I came to see her as more than just an enlisted colleague. She became a friend, a neighbor and part of my family.

And I definitely NOT see her as a daughter or a younger sister!

My god, that's just disgusting.

She may have been an enlisted, but I'm a healthy adult male and I'm definitely **not **blind! Or dead. Cause only blind or dead would not react to her.

And the first, instinctive thought the sight of her inspired in me definitely wasn't that of a father or a brother. Or even a by-the-book officer, btw., even though it should've been.

_'My god, she's gorgeous!'_ and a desire to be her life partner is not something a male officer should be thinking when laying eyes upon an enlisted female, even though it's true, but thankfully I managed to regain my professional poise soon enough and kept it that way, sometimes just barely, for the last few years.

She's a gorgeous woman, I was never blind to that, I was attracted to her from the start and that's why I just couldn't see her as anything else than an attractive woman, who unfortunately happened to be enlisted and thus out of bounds.

But it's not just about physical attraction, I've outgrown that a long time ago. It's more who she is as a person than how she looks like. And it's this area where she truly shines. She's open, warm, friendly, loving, devoted, loyal to a fault, giving, compassionate and sometimes almost emphatic, as if feeling the other person's emotions. I can confidently say she'll be a fantastic psychologist and will have no shortage of clients.

And last, but definitely not least, is Jen's intelligence. The woman is smart. Not mad-scientist-kinda smart, but definitely very intelligent, cunning and sometimes manifests an intuitive knowledge unaparalleled to anything I've ever seen. Her IQ is definitely way in the triple numbers. The fact that she's literally flying through her psychology exams with flying colors says it all.

I still remember with fondness the evenings we spent together, either with Mattie or alone. Platonically of course. I taught her how to cook and even though she sometimes burned things, literally - there were a few times when there was a flame coming from the food, but overall she was a gifted student.

Even though she likes to experiment with food, trying out different, new and sometimes weird combinations, she's a vegetarian like me.

There were tense moments too, of course. Whenever we went somewhere, even for food or something, people mistook us for a couple, which put a strain on us, thankfully only temporarily. And when I, Jen and Mattie went somewhere they even thought Jen and I were married and Mattie was my daughter and Jen's step-daughter.

And the worst part is, after I recovered from the initial embarrassement I came to like the idea. Jen did too, I could see it in her eyes. Mattie was even vocal about it, if her numerous jokes and jibes were any indication. She liked the small, closed unit we had and never held back opinion that Jen and I should somehow make it official and then she would be allowed to stay with us, because we could've adopted her together. Though she's a smart girl and never said anything in front of anyone else, like during the three occasions on which Mac visited.

Then Mattie left and my greatest fear came to life. My little family, my little safe harbour, something I had for the first time in my life now, and so late in life, fell apart. Mattie concentrated on working on her relationship with her father and thus kept drifting away from Jen and me, who began drifting away from each other. The irony of it is, Pia brought us together again, even though she tried to destroy what little happiness Jen and, even partly, myself had. First she framed Jen for murder and then Jen declared that she was going to move away.

Thankfully she didn't. She did however resign from the Navy, stating that her career there was over anyway. I tried to convince her otherwise, but she didn't listen. I also think she got scared by the cops' accusations that we were having an affair, I know I got nervous myself. There was no basis, neither any proof, but proof was never needed for destruction of careers, good reputations and relationships. Most sentences for fraternization aren't gained with proof, but by circumstancial evidence and hear-say, anyway.

She surprised, and pleased me to no hell, when she told me she was going to College full-time. I can't express just how proud of her I am, she's got only a year until graduation left. I've become quite good at ignoring the fact that according to regs I should not have such a connection with an enlisted that I'm proud when she achieves something great.

I'm past my prime, getting older quickly, have more years behind me than before me and, truthfully said, my career and the Navy are rapidly and steadily losing their places and importance in my life. Actually, they've already lost them. They're still important, but not important enough to stop me finding happines or be more important than everything else and, given a chance for happines, love, marriage and family; I would ditch the Navy without second thought or regret. It wouldn't be the first time. I'm mature enough to realize that career isn't everything, that there are bigger, better, more fulfilling things out there than a career. After all, when I'd retire I'd still lose this career no matter what I'd do. But love and a lifetime commitment with the right woman is something I would never lose, something only death would make me part from it.

My fear of completely losing contact with Jen after she left the Navy and entered College didn't realize, if anything we became even closer with the regs removed.

We're spending evenings together, making and eating dinner together, talking a lot, occasionally watching primetime TV together (she can even manage to persuade me to watch an occasional chick flick with her, which unfortunately shows just what she can talk me into, what those deep brown eyes can convince me into, and just how whipped I am), she even lets me see her cry at some particularly sappy moments in sappy movies (while the reason why I shed a tear just then is because I'm bored to tears and exasperated over the crap people film),... We've solidified our friendship and are slowly working on having more between us, slowly moving towards a romantic relationship.

We both know where we're going and neither has anything against the idea of us being together in that way.

Perhaps it's just propinquity, two lonely people, who have no-one else, spending a lot of time together, the cause for us growing closer and developing feelings of a decidedly romantic nature, on top of the already strong platonic ones.

But does it matter what the reason for us growing closer is?

In the end it doesn't.

What matters is only that this new level of relationship has developed and not only exists, but is also growing stronger.

Which is why I'm not surprised to find her in my apartment when I return home, but I AM surprised at the state I find her in.

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	3. Chapter 3

Okay, last call for kiddies and offended-by-sex-between-two-consenting-adults to bail out. Bewarned that this is more descriptional than what I usually write.

Thanks for the reviews, they blew me away. Didn't expect so many of them considering this is an M rated fic. Please keep them up!

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The sight before me takes my breath away. Literally.

She's bent over at the waist, searching through the fridge for something. I can see she had a shower just minutes ago from the way her large wet T-shirt is still clinging to her body, as if it was moulded to her shape. Ever after a year and a half of being neighbors I still haven't figured out why she prefers putting clothes on her wet body instead of toweling herself dry first.

It's always played havoc with my self-control and now that she's no longer off-limits it's even worse.

Oh god, I shouldn't be looking, I should tear my eyes away and retreat immediately, but I just can't make myself do that.

It's been a long time since I saw a woman naked, since I last had sex, 4 years - a lot for a man of my age, and now this long drought has come to bite me on my ass by making my body react faster than it would've normally.

What her uniform hinted at before, and it hinted very clearly, is now practically on display. She has an amazing body, hot and sensual and just the sight of her like that makes me instantly hard.

I'm slightly at an angle, not fully on her right and not fully behind her. From this angle, and because of the clinging T-shirt, I can see her breasts hanging beneath her and dear lord they are definitely something. They are large and full and I think I can even see nipples tenting the thin wet fabric. Guess the cold from the fridge is responsible for that. The scent of a heady-smelling shower gel is thick in the air and I surmiss she used my shower. Is it just my imagination or is this starting too look like a signal to me? Signal that she wants our relationship to move on to the next step? Well, considering she's been staring at the same spot in the fridge ever since I entered the apartment...

I shake off my mental gymnastics and get back to doing what I never allowed myself to do before: checking out one smokin' hot Jennifer Coates.

There should be a weapon-permit required for such a body.

Her tummy is flat with a very slight convex shape and it's flatness is emphasizing her breasts' fullness and large size. I'm not a size man, to me the shape and the fullness is what matters not the size, too large breasts turn me off, but I'll also be the first to admit that I love how big Jen's breasts are. Not too small and not too big, perfect for her body size. And, yes, there _is _such a thing as too large breasts.

Her butt is tight and muscular and it continues down into powerful, shapely thighs. Her legs are exquisite from hours of jogging, which we many times did together, and I just feast on her with my eyes.

I'm absolutely certain that this apartment has not been graced by the presence of a hotter, sexier and more desirable woman in the decades it's been existing.

Not only that, but Jen's inner beauty is even larger than her physical. I've known very few women that came even close to Jen's soul's and heart's beauty.

For years I wondered which lucky bastard would be lucky enough to spend the rest of his life with this amazing woman and I felt jealous of a guy that didn't even know about her yet. The idea that it might be me is threatening to blow me away. And if it's not just my imagination, then I'm reading her signals right. Which means she decided that _I'm_ the one she wants to spend the rest of her life with. This would never be a one-night-stand or a casual relationship to her, I know that, if we start this, then it's forever. And if that's true than _I'm _the one lucky bastard.

I notice her hips shift, as if she's trying to put pressure on her nerve bundle, but I decide that that's just my horny mind talking. Still, she did shift and I decide I want to see more, I want to see how that butt those uniforms hinted at so teasingly, looks for real, with just a T-shirt covering it.

I silently move a couple of paces and suddenly almost have a heart attack.

Crap, from this angle I can see between her legs! And she'd definitely not wearing any panties.

Wow!

Under that T-shirt she's completely naked and this thought and the picture she presents almost make me cum in my pants.

I tilt my head to get a better angle and I'm faced with one of the most arousing views I've seen in years. No wonder I'm getting hard so quickly I'm afraid of fainting due to sudden blood loss.

She's not overgrown like a rain forest, nor shaven, but there is definitely some bush down there, very neatly trimmed. I've always liked it when women are groomed. The bikini wax is my favorite. What I absolutely don't like are the two extremes: either completely shaven or too hairy. I think the reasons for why I don't like it that way are clear to anyone.

And as if that isn't enough, her blood-swollen lips are glistening with moisture, and not that of water from the shower, evidence she knows I'm there watching, she wants what's to come and is readying herself for it.

We've been getting closer the last 6 months, courtesy of frat regs no longer existing, so I'm taking this as a sign. She obviously wants us to move to the next stage, since she's in my apartment naked and aroused, after having had a shower in my shower. If she didn't want it she wouldn't be here now, undressed like that and obviously waiting I'll do.

As if on autopilot I strip off my clothes and move silently towards her, my hard, thick erection pointing the way.

I come up behind her and press the swollen head against her engorged, juicy lips, but do not penetrate. I slip my hands beneath her T-shirt and palm her heavy breasts, feeling the hard nipples rub against my palms.

No matter how far gone I am with lust and desire I will still wait for express and clear permission. I would never take a woman without her consent. I know some other guys would take the woman being naked in their apartment for all the permission they'd need, but I'm just not like that. I need a real permit.

When our sexual organs touch I see a shaft of electricity go up her spine and she gasps, jumping a little at the contact. For a moment I'm struck with fear and apprehension. Shit, did I read the whole situation completely wrong? What if she doesn't really want me? Have I just embarrassed both and made a complete fool of myself, destroying our friendship and every progress we've made towards more in one fell swoop?

She levers herself up and looks at me with black eyes.

Thankfully for my peace of mind I realize she doesn't move away from my penis and this gives me enough courage to rub it against her lips, prompting a gush of lubricant to drench me. This makes me even harder. Because of my height and mass of my body I am correspondingly big and no matter how much she parted her thighs to accomodate me, when she straightened up, it's still spreading her wide.

Her irises are expanded so much her brown eyes look black.

"Jen, are you sure about this? Do you really want me?" is this my voice? It's so husky and laden with desire I barely recognize it. "If you don't want this to happen say now and it won't happen. We'll never talk about this again. But if _this_..." and I nudge her wet lips slightly"... happens, then we'll never go back. I won't let us go back."

I don't see even a moment of indecision in her orbs before her jaw sets with determination. In a fraction of a second she bends forward again, takes hold of me with one hand, while the other grabs my butt to anchor her, positions me at her entrance and bucks back against my body powerfully, sinking me cervix-deep inside her.

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	4. Chapter 4

I'm going out of town for a couple of days, so this will be the last update this week. Make my day for when I come back home and leave a lot of reviews.

Loved the reviews keep them up!

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I know I'm cervix-deep because I feel it against the tip of my length. A check with my finger reveals my balls are nowhere near her lubricated mons.

I've always been aware of her being of average-for-women height, which made her much shorter than me, but even in the occasional moments ever since she resigned did it never occur to me what that could mean. It never occured to me that because her body was smaller that she was not big enough _there_ to house me completely. I squelch a sliver of disappointment at the thought that I can't be inside her fully. This amazing woman has already given me much more than I ever thought I'd get from anyone, that I ever even thought I deserve, there is no way I'll let myself think that I didn't get enough. Because of myself and because I know she can read me like a book. I'd do anything to avoid hurting her.

The years of celibacy raise their ugly head and I barely stop myself from releasing my load the moment I finish my slide into her. The situation is made worse on me with her internal muscles holding me tight. She's tight, damn tight, I think I'm spreading her to the max. I also guess it must've been a long time for her too. Hell, if I didn't know better, if I didn't breach anything while going in, I would swear that she's a virgin. Or was a virgin until now.

Matching groans rise from our chests as we revel in the sensations, just letting ourselves get used to the feeling. I'm waiting for her to adjust herself to my size before I start anything. I want this to be as good as possible for her, not hurt her.

Jen leans forward and braces against the now-closed refrigerator, as I slowly start to pull back. When only the head is still inside I pause and thrust even slower back inside, to enjoy the moment and sensations even more. Jen moans deeply as she feels every ridge and vein rub against the nerve endings in her almost-too-tight walls.

I go slow for a long time, partly to prevent myself from losing it too soon, partly to prolong it for both of us and partly because with how tight she is I'm certain I would hurt her, or even damage her, if I were to pound into her wildly.

The only sound heard in the room is that of our harsh breathing, the sound of skin slapping together as we push our hips against each other, and the sucking sound as I slide in and out of her well-lubricated sheath.

I put my hands on her back and start exploring her back. I just can't get enough of her smooth, supple skin. She's such a contradiction, supple, strong-but-stretchy skin against hard muscles of her toned body.

I've got the best view. For a while now her uniform has tantalized me with promises what was underneath, but the reality is way better than anything my imagination came up with. The T-shirt reveals a slim body which widens with the flare of her hips. The butt that has made my body react so many times when swaying in front of me in corridors in that tight, short uniform skirt, is completely bare. The skin is perfect, flawless. She's got just the right butt, muscular, but not flat, with the necessary roundness.

Now that I'm so close I realize that this is not her T-shirt after all. It's my old Naval Academy T-shirt. Hell, it's hers now, she already had my heart and my mind and now she has my body. My T-shirt is her T-shirt, with us having become lovers she's gained rights and access to all of my stuff anyway.

During my exploration of her back I nudge _her_ T-shirt higher when I find something on her back. Right between those two very cute and extremely seductive dimples on the small of her back I find something which sends me reeling.

A tattoo.

A tatto saying in a small, cursive script, in the shape of a wave: Property of HR.

The thing that surprises me is that the tattoo is too high to be covered by anything less than a shirt. A bikini would not hide it, not even a one-piece swimming suit, neither would panties. It's obvious she wants it to be seen when she's on the beach or when wearing a tank top.

My thrusts falter and stop. Jen whimpers and demands that I continue, but I ignore her and against her even louder and fiercer protests, and against protests of my own body, I pull out. Keeping her in place when she starts to turn around I bend down and kiss the tattoo, acknowledging her declaration. I confirm that I accept her offer, namely herself. As soon as I can I will go to a tattoo artist and have an identical one made on my body, but this one with _her _initials. Wow, this is almost feeling like putting golden bands on each other's left ring fingers. And, even though it's soon, I definitely don't mind.

Then I straighten up again and without any fanfare I push back into her, this time moving my hands to where they were headed before I was distracted by the tattoo.

One hand goes to where we're joined, finding a very hard and big clitoris to play with. Poor Jen, considering the way she's practically leaking down her thighs and how big her clitoris is, she's been aroused as hell before she even joined us together. As soon as I give it it's due attention Jen's moans get louder and I even increase the loudness when my other hand starts to play with her large breasts and nipples, alternating between them.

There's just something so primal about having sex like this, she bent over in front of me and the fact that she's not completely naked, her upper body covered by the T-shirt, is strangely turning me on big time.

Her seemingly submissive pose, while I know she's anything but submissive and I also don't want her to be submissive, I prefer her the way she is, knowledge underlined with her breathy orders on how to move to make us both feel pleasure, is making me even harder.

But somehow I don't think there are many things about this woman that don't turn me on.

I feel like a caveman who's taken a female and claimed her as his own and is now pounding into her, trying to insure the continuation of the species and his line as nature demands, with her letting herself be taken and impregnated, knowing it's her nature-given duty, both following their baser instincts. My apartment is my cave and I've just claimed her before the others and taken her in here, to make her mine fully and to insure my line would not die out.

Even if she tells me I'll get her pregnant if I cum inside her there is nothing in the world that will make me stop. Except for her not wanting to get pregnant or changing her mind about making love to me.

I guess that makes me different from most of the other men. I can honestly say I'm not bothered at the thought of making a baby in Jen's belly right this second, of having a family with her. I'm over 41 and single, without a single child. And family is something I've been wishing for, for a long, long time.

Having it with Jen would just make the whole deal sweeter. I've seen with my own two eyes how she would be as a mother and I can confidently say she would be an amazing one. Any guy would be lucky to have her as his wife and the mother of his kids, me as well.

But I guess for now this probability isn't feasible, I'm certain she's on the pill since this is a premeditated seduction on her part.

An idea strikes me then and I stop abruptly, keeping myself still inside her.

If I'm a caveman already, wouldn't this be more comfortable being done on my bed? My knees surely wouldn't suffer so much, since they now have to be bent a little to compensate for her height. She's shorter than me, which puts certain parts of her anatomy lower than my own.

She whimpers in protest at the lack of movement, but I sling my arms around her body, under her breasts, and haul her back against my chest, anchoring her there. "Hold on." I whisper. "I'm getting us to the bed."

I could just pull out and have her walk by herself, but for some reason I don't want to separate us.

I straighten my legs and feel her sink more heavily down on me, since her feet are dangling in the air instead of being planted on the ground, keeping her up. She's much shorter than I am and the way we've been going at it caused my knees to ache. My penis aches slightly, taking the weight of an adult woman is no small feat for such a delicate part of the male anatomy.

The motion of scaling the steps into my bedroom jostles Jen slightly and suddenly I feel something give around the head of my penis, then Jen suddenly slides the rest of the way down on me, taking me to my balls, then I feel myself being braced in the narrow behind it, causing Jen to moan softly.

I stop abruptly, realization of what has just happened hitting me with the force of a jackhammer.

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	5. Chapter 5

Noticed M rated fics get lot less reviews than other rated fics, even though they have the same number of hits per chapter. Please review.

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"You okay?" I whisper into her ear and even I am surprised at how raspy my voice is.

"Yes." she croaks. "Yes, oh god, I'm so full, I'm so full! Don't ever leave me, don't you dare pull out anytime today!"

I've heard of it before, but thought they were just stories guys tell each other to make themselves look good. Women don't realize that most of the locker room talk about sexual experiences and long lists of conquests are just lies. Guys make much of this stuff up so they don't look like losers-who-don't-get-any before other men. Every guy knows this SOP, knows that most of what the other man is saying is a lie, but everyone goes along with it. Don't asky me why, because I have no clue myself.

Anyway, a pal of mine from the Seahawk once claimed that he'd breached the girl's cervix and entered her womb at one time, but I didn't believe him.

Perhaps I was right not to believe him and he was just making everything up, but now I know that the urban myth is true. I'm just living it namely, my penis' swollen head is in Jen's womb and her cervix is clutching me in a vice grip just behind the helmet, thus locking me inside her.

I was carrying her impaled on my dick, yet it wasn't completely inside her, a couple of inches still being outside, and because of the fact that the entire weight of her body was pressing her cervix down against me, her cervix gave in and opened, letting me inside.

It's a wonderful, hot, wet and incredibly tight place I'm in and I definitely don't want to ever leave. I'm even more glad that she feels the same.

I smile in relief at the knowledge that I didn't hurt her. "Sorry, honey, but that's nothing I can control. But pulling out is definitely the last thing I'd ever want to do."

My hormones are working with such speed now that I'm wondering how come my head isn't spinning. I've never felt such a potent mixture of lust, love, desire, power and an incredibly strong primal instinct to mate and impregnate.

Jen is the shortest of the women I've ever made love to and her smaller size makes me feel powerful and primitively masculine over her small size, which I practically dwarf.

I know she's far from it, but to me she at the moment seems incredibly delicate, like frail flower, utterly feminine and delicate, a precious treasure I must guard with my life and touch incredibly carefully because she will break otherwise. I can't help it, I know that Jen is a personality-and-physically-wise a strong woman and that I'm even being perhaps chauvinistic, but being buried so deep inside her, yet the crown of her head barely reaching my chin and fully aware that from behind you can't even see her past my body, is bringing out my primal side and I just I can't help but think of her like that.

Many women find this protective male instinct chauvinistic, insulting even, but believe me it's not something most of us can control. It's built into us, it's something nature designed and integrated into the male of the species when life was still only in the primordial soup that would later become oceans. Believe it or not, but this protective instinct is also NOT something most of us likes (though there are freaks that thrive on it and drive it into extremes - they are called control freaks. The rest of us have no patience for them and any real man will make such a freak pay if he hears that the freak is terrorizing and controlling women.).

In the current days with modern women who find their man's instinct to protect them personally insulting, chauvinistic, afront to their femininity and even suggesting that they can't take care of themselves or are incapable of doing anything themselves, it's more of a hinderance and a liability than anything else. And a sure way of getting dumped by the strong woman you love.

Though, it's not always like that. Five years ago a childhood friend of mine dated a woman, a strong, successful business woman who was like a steamroller in business, feared by her opponents. What surprised me when I got to know her was that she never minded when he got overprotective or possessive (yet not jealous). When I once asked her why she never got upset or angry at him for behaving like that she told me that she knew he loved her and cared about her well-being and she understood these protective feelings are something he couldn't control. Upon hearing that, my respect for her raised even more and I envied Steve even more than I have. My envy has risen in the last few years - they're happily married now, have two wonderful kids, Tom is a computer programmer while Brenda has taken over the company she worked for, put her assistant, whom she'd trained for years, to handle most of her work so she can spend most of the time with her kids, yet still has factual control of the firm. I found her attitude appealing because back then I was still pining for the woman who found it mortally offensive when I got protective because she kept insisting that she was a Marine and didn't need anyone, could do everything by herself, could protect herself on her own, and certainly the last thing she needed was a man and a Navy man at that. I don't know what was more offensive to her, either the thought of being protected by a man or being protected by someone who was in the Navy. Who knows...

Yet I get the feeling Jen wouldn't blast me for occasionally being over-protective or possessive.

Meanwhile my knees and my back are starting to hurt from standing upright and holding the additional weight. Down points of all the ejections and of getting older.

Carefully I step towards the bed and have to make a real effort to lower myself on my back without dislodging out of her. When she's resting on my body and starts to squirm from the feel of me inside her I take advantage of my hands being free once again. Fingers of one hand quickly move to her left nipple, pinching and rolling it; while the other hand moves down and those fingers start to play with her pubic hair and the very swollen bundle of nerves that has peeked out from beneath it's hood.

Then I let my mouth come into play and I tilt my head so I can reach her neck. Concentrating on one particular spot beneath her ear I get to work and start nibbling on the supple, fragrant skin there.

She responds to my ministrations immediately and I must abandon her nipple just to hold her against me, in order to keep her from dislodging me out of her womb. Because, when I explode, I want to send my sperm directly inside her womb. Meanwhile she's trying to tip me over herself... with the strength of her inner muscles I never expected she is massaging my entire length and it's now a race who will bring over whom first.

I'm no longer in control of my body, like the caveman I likened myself to earlier, I've become a primal creature, a creature of nature, and only one drive occupies my mind and my body: procreate. Someone should really send a memo about birth-control pills to these hormones...

A part of this is the branding I am doing on her skin, leaving my mark high enough on her neck so all the other males would be able to see she's taken and respect it. This female is mine and no-one else shall touch her for as long as we live.

Her muscles massage me so superbly that I barely hang on to my self-control and wait for her to finally stiffen and then quake screaming my name, which soon turns into just screaming, accompanied by ferocious squeezing of my length with her inner muscles.

I can stand only 5 seconds of such a merciless stimulation before I start throbbing powerfully and then my cum comes gushing out in thick, powerful torrents, flooding her womb.

I can't believe how much I've already ejaculated into her, I have never cum so much in my life. Granted, I have also never had such a long bout of celibacy since beginning to date Diane either. 4 years... It's a wonder I didn't explode as soon as I was inside Jen.

I put my hand on her delectable, muscular, flat and tanned tummy and caress it as she comes down from her high while I diligently work on the hickey. I want a visible mark of mine on her body, I was never the hickey-giving type, but I just want it.

I can't believe just what kind of thoughts are cropping up in my brain.

Just what is it about this woman that turns me into a caveman?

I mean, seriously, marking her, impregnating her, taking her from behind, claiming her,... That's not my normal behaviour, that's not me. Or never was me. Until one Jennifer Coates was no more off-limits and I could relax the tight reign on my feelings and baser instincts.

Finally she stops shaking and screaming, collapsing on me as if she has no bones, and I stop cumming. Her womb must be flooded by now since the cervix is plugged air-tight by my erection.

A small part of me, the caveman part, is mourning the fact that there will be no baby resulting from this wonderful time, while the larger part, the one that is the modern man, knows it's too soon in our relationship for us to have a baby. We have to first become used to being a couple, make some solid plans for our future together, and we WILL have a future together, and re-arrange our lives and living situation so they can accomodate us and a family before we can think of having babies. Plural, not singular. I was an only child and I don't want that for our firstborn.

Somehow I manage to grab the blanket and cover us so we won't get chilled. In the post-coital haze my sluggish mind goes back to a website I saw last week, full with trivia. There stood written that in the modern times when most couples have sex way before they get married (IF they get married and it's not just a one night stand) only a few of them have sex on their wedding night. With the pre-marital sex the wedding night is not really that much different from other nights because it's no longer the first time they have sex. Here and now I decide that Jen and I won't be part of that statistic, but will make love all night long on our wedding night.

Then my brain decides that it's worked enough, especially after what I experienced, and shuts down, shoving me into sleep.

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	6. Chapter 6

Loved the reviews, keep them up!

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I wake up in a few hours and for the first time in years I feel complete, as if a part that was missing is now back.

I'm not surprised by the fact that this missing part is Jen, for I clearly remember my soul's reaction when I first saw her in the Brig just before Christmas 2001.

Somehow I knew then already, something I realized just now, that Jennifer Coates is where I was supposed to end up, is the one I have always been supposed to end up with. Not Annie, not Jordan, not Renee, not Catherine and not Mac.

Jen is still on top of me, snoring softly from her sleeping on her back, something I find endlessly cute. It's not an aggressive-male-type snore, but a feminine one, soft, almost inaudible, but still there. I'm sorely tempted to tickle her ribs lightly. Or somewhere further south, as my hormones demand.

And if anyone before today would've told me this is possible, that he experienced it himself, I would've called him a liar to his face, but now I can't, for I'm experiencing it myself. I'm still semi-hard and still lodged inside her womb and, because of my angle of penetration, her butt is raised slightly.

Suddenly I remember what I read in one of the books I bought when Mac revealed her endometriosis to me. I was determined we would have a child, if she'd still want it with me, which then turned out she didn't, and I spent hours upon hours researching the disease and best ways of making a conception happen. To my surprise I found out that less than 40 percent of IVF are successful. The natural way of doing things is obviously still the most reliable (not to mention fulfilling, fun, pleasurable and cheapest) and a few positions, like the missionary and the one with the woman on all fours, are the best for conceiving. It's also recommended that after the man has deposited his baby-making seed, the woman should lay on her back and elevate her hips so his semen wouldn't drip out of her. That's almost exactly same position Jen is now in, just that she also has a big cork lodged in her cervix preventing leaks. But, since I know she's on the pill, I also know that pregnancy is an impossibility, which is something a large part of me regrets. I'm 41 and I want a family, badly, and this woman is the one I want it with. So, my regret at not being allowed to impregnate her now is understandable. When I was researching this for Mac and myself, pregnancy was the desired outcome. In the end, it wasn't cancer that beat Mac and me, but it was Mac herself.

I don't know what her reasons were, but to me it looked like she was either in denial or didn't want kids or just didn't want me and my kids. Or she was just too messed up. I mean I did everything she asked me, I gave her space, I didn't push her, I was there for her when she allowed it (which was never), but to no avail. Only to watch her go to yet another man. Until today I was bitter about it, but after the events that have unfold after I came back home, I'm infinitely glad Mac pushed me away. If she hadn't, I wouldn't have found real love and I wouldn't have realized that Jen is my soulmate. It's a term for a woman I used only once before over 10 years ago.

I know with the absolute certainty with which I know Earth is round that Mac and I would've failed and broke up if we ever managed to get together in the first place. I'm relieved we never got together, because I was spared something that would undoubtebly be a very, very messy breakup. Thank god we never got so far that she would've gotten pregnant...

As much as I love Jen and am glad me and Mac never worked out, which opened the door for Jen, by now I'm honestly finding this position a little uncomfortable. My back is stiff from being in one position for hours, my chest and abdomen are sore from holding the weight of a fully grown woman for hours on end and my dick feels like it's been over-stretched.

I stayed semi-hard during my sleep, the tightness of her walls and the slick, moist heat of her insides all conspiring to make me stay partly inflated, sealing her cervix off hermetically, and thus serving as a cork. I'm sure that if I pull out now, it'll be a while before her cervix goes back to normal.

There's only one way I know of that makes a cervix contract and that's orgasm. Specifically, hormone oxytocin, which is a by-product of orgasm and the hormone responsible for starting uterus and cervical contractions also for the production of breast milk and lactation. It induces contractions during orgasm and during labor. After the delivery of a baby oxytocin starts contractions to expell the placenta and during breastfeeding is oxytocin produced to stimulate the production of further milk and to make the womb shrink back to it's original size. You see what I mean when I said I researched the topic?

So, I take matters into my own hands, literally, and sneak my left one, after having wetted my fingers with my saliva, down to the apex of her thighs.

Once there I put all my attention into the effort of making her cum. She's still asleep, but I can hear her breathing get heavier and faster. In just a few minutes she's racing over the edge and I pull out while she's still high in orbit, causing a moan of disapproval from her. Slowly I masage her belly, even though I know that won't help squat, but wanting her return from the stars to be a gentle one.

With an effort I manage to turn us on our sides, even with my back and muscles stiff. Once there I pull her back into my arms and go back to sleep.

--

I wake up to a tongue in my throat and a small, soft hand lovingly pumping my steel-hard erection.

I return the kiss and soon we are making out like a couple of horny teenagers. When she's satisfied with my readiness she rolls on her back, tugging me with her, and spreads her legs. With her small hand she then guides me into her and her eyes roll back as I fill her again.

My eyes feast on her expression of exquisite pleasure, of ecstasy only the best love making can bring out in a person and then my eyes move further down her body. Her breasts just call for my attention and after I give them an appreciative close-up visual inspection for the first time in our lives, approvingly noticing their size, shape and weight; I give them my oral attention. My lips close around one brown, big nipple and my tongue immediately starts playing with it. I'm fully enjoying the feel of the rubbery skin against my tongue while my right hand kneads her other breast, playing with that nipple.

Whoever said that 'more than a mouthful is a wasteful' was someone who had absolutely no clue what he was talking about and has certainly never met one Jennifer Coates.

Which is a good thing, for two reasons.

I'd either have to beat him up for insulting Jen or beat him up cause if he would meet Jen then he'd want to prove his theory, either right or wrong. And there's only one way to prove it... The way I definitely wouldn't approve.

And I really don't need an assault and battery charge on my record.

I must say I'm pretty proud of myself, at my age twice in just a few hours is a record. It's dark outside, which means it's only been a couple of hours since our last session.

While our first time was about lust and desire and finally becoming a couple for real, this time it's about more, it's about feelings that have grown out of deep abiding friendship over the last three years and have been given an especially strong flight within the last six months of freedom from the regs.

It's been a couple of decades since I last disappointed a woman in bed, but I still have to say this is quite a feat for me. Still, I don't know how much of this newfound stamina is because it's Jen I'm making love to or how much is it due to my 4 years of celibacy. But heaven knows I'm definitely not complaining.

I'm just worried that with her youthful stamina that either my dick will cease to cooperate and won't rise to the challenge again or I'll suffer a heart attack.

Either seems equally possible right now.

Noticing that while she's quite turned on and flushed she's also not getting enough friction to go over, so I slip my hand to where we are joined and start playing with her clit.

Meanwhile I bend down and take the other long, thick nipple into my mouth. I lick and suck on the teat and when I feel she's almost there I simultaneously bite down on it, scrape her clit with my thumb's fingernail and thrust hard into her.

Suddenly her body stiffens like a board beneath me as a primal scream tears out of her throat and with one hand she pulls my face into her bountiful breasts, while the nails of the other sink into my shoulder, no doubt drawing blood. I feel the rhythmic pulsing of her walls around me as she locks her ankles behind my butt and starts erratically humping against my hips with uncontrolled passion born of her climax.

Suddenly my yell joins her scream as I follow her into oblivion.

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	7. Chapter 7

Quote:

Call of Duty IV

Capt. Price: "We're going deep and we're going hard."

Gaz: "Surely you can't be serious."

Capt. Price: "I am serious... And don't call me Shirley."

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Well, _we_ are going deep and we're going hard in a completely different way again. Glad you're still with me.

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When I come to a few seconds later I'm sagged bonelessly on top of Jen and she's pushing weakly at my shoulder. I groan and with my last reserves of energy I roll off her. She moans involuntarily in protest as I slowly, with a loud liquid sound slide out of her warm, very wet-from-both-of-us haven. Because I stretched her walls more than they've been in a long time it takes her muscles awhile before they return to their normal state, leaving her entrance open obscenely wide, her outer lips swollen and dark with blood, my juices trickling out of her.

I don't know why, must be the caveman in me, but this sight gives me a strong proud feeling, spiced with proprietary undertones. Not of ownership in the sense that she's a property, but of ownership over her heart, at the knowledge that _I_ am the man she makes love to, whom she loves. The only man with the right to her body, the only man to have the right to put that completely satiated expression on her lovely face. I know she loves me and I know that she knows that I love her and, now that we've finally made that one last step, that we've finally made love, her heart is now officially mine and my heart is now officially hers. There's no way we'll hide this anymore, from now on we'll be an open, public couple, no more hiding.

And I know, come hell or high water, that I'll do anything to make this relationship work in the long run, I won't let her go. What we have is something special, something that comes only rarely in life and, after I lost it with Diane because I put our careers first, I'm not gonna do it again. I'm smarter than that now.

She doesn't cuddle into my side as I expected, instead she crawls to the foot of the bed and takes my spent length into her hand.

It's wet, sticky and shiny, still thick and heavy from the remaining blood filling it, but she doesn't look repulsed as she examines it closely with a satisfied, appreciative smile. My guess that she only wants to get to know personally what she took into her own body so many times is shattered when she opens her mouth and swallows me whole. At the first taste of my cum on her taste buds she moans and then hums loudly, the exquisite vibrations making me hard again instantly. My eyes roll back in my head and after that I hear only loud slurping sounds, mixed with moans of enjoyment, as Jen goes down on me.

Now this is definitely something I haven't experienced in a looong while. Rene didn't want to do it because she felt it was degrading to her, Jordan didn't do it because she felt digusted at the prospect of taking me into her mouth, Annie was just too uptight to do it, last one to have done this was Diane. Diane and I were amazing lovers, incredibly compatible and the sex we had was the best of my life. Well, until now. Mine and Jen's lovemaking is definitely right up there.

I resolve to return the favor much later, after she's had a thorough shower of course.

My dick is over-sensitized from having ejaculated two times already. Not having given her any chance at success I'm quite surprised at the way she managed to make me hard again.

I can only gasp with my eyes closed from enjoyment when I suddenly become aware of the fact that I'm about to cum. I try to warn Jen, but she batts my hands away and takes me even deeper into her mouth. Her hands are rolling and gently caressing my balls so, when they pull up into my body in preparation for release, she has sufficient time to pull back until only the head is just inside her lips.

With that I release and can see my cock throbbing heavily as it deposits my life-giving cream into Jen's mouth. To my surprise she neither swallows nor spits it out, but just let's it build up in her mouth, exploring the taste. I didn't manage to produce much, this being my third time in 12 hours

My record, and that was 17 years ago, was 5 times in one night. I felt like Hercules after the last time and I'm feeling like one now too. Of course, that record was never repeated, but it's sure is looking good tonight.

I twist my neck and to my wonder see her throat working as she's swallowing.

Aren't women supposed to be disgusted at the thought of swallowing a man's sperm?

Perhaps it's only when they're doing it with a one night stand, a stranger, where there are no feelings involved, unlike they are now. Love makes a world of a difference.

Before I'm completely done she pinches me tightly at the base, cutting off the flow and thus insuring my continued hardness.

I do soften somewhat, but after waiting for a while for the feeling of over-sensitivity to pass, Jen takes me back in and increases the suction, making me swell again.

When I'm hard enough she let's go after giving it one final lick and kiss and, after sending first my dick and then towards my eyes a smug smile, she gets up and squats over me. She motions me to remain laying and with a small, strong hand she guides my big length inside her, drawing my gaze to her dark curls, shining and matted from my semen and her juices.

Even though we just made love she takes her time, goes slowly to fully enjoy every milimeter of her channel being stretched again.

She groans as I fill her and arches her back, pushing her full breasts into the air, which I take full advantage of, taking a nipple into my mouth and start to nibble on it, drawing passionate moans from my beautiful lover.

It's a lovely nipple, one of a pair of a kind. Around half an inch long and almost as wide, planted on identical areolas, their diameters three times the width of her nipples, and with single lines of small raised bumps in a perfect circle around them. The nipples and areolas are mid brown, rubbery and fully erect. I get another confirmation that we're perfect for each other, because these nipples have quite obvious been made just for me to nibble and kiss and lick and suck on, and for my future children to suckle mother's milk from. You have only one guess who their mother will be...

The taste of her skin is addictive, it's a mixture of passion-sweat, a very faint trace of the body lotion she uses and of something I can categorize only as feminine, something that is definitely Jen. Jen, without any lotions, or creams, or parfumes or anything else, just Jen the human female. A taste I know I can happily get addicted to it, crave it happily for the rest of my life.

It's a tight fit, but I'm finally seated as deep within her as I can without breaching her cervix again and then I just pull back to take in the sight of her.

She's beautiful, so gorgeous my heart tightenes painfully.

I can honestly say I've never seen a sight more beautiful than this: Jen riding me, her bronze skin deeply flushed and sweat pouring off of her, making her skin glisten in the dim light of the nighstand lamp, muscles allover her slim body tensing and bunching as she's rising and lowering herself down on me, her full breasts bouncing and swaying on her chest, one hand pinching the nipple I released only seconds ago and this frown of pleasure on her beautiful face, pleasure so exquisite it's almost painful. The full lips puckered, the nose wrinkled, the eyes closed and the tension in her face reveal she's extremely close, but intentionally holding off.

And I'm right. After almost 20 minutes of alternating slow with hard and fast, breathing extremely quickly and shallowly, Jen collapses on top of me, after having orgasmed once more, for which I give her at least 90 percent of the credit. At the beginning of this latest session she made sure that I knew this was her show and I shouldn't do anything. She even batted my hand away the time I reached for her clit. I could've as well have been a dildo with how much help I was.

And me?

From experience, from my days of youth, I know that while I'm not as hard as I would be otherwise, I'll last much longer. I'm just too soft to get enough stimulation and honestly, I'm too sore, the pain strong enough to successfully fight the ecstasy.

My sides hurt from where she gripped me with her strong thighs during her ride, my chest hurts from numerous cuts by her nails which she sunk into me when she orgasmed, my stomach, where the appendix is, hurts slightly as it always does when I'm continuing with having sex after coming at least twice, my dick feels raw from having been too abused over the last few hours, the only thing that doesn't hurt are the tops of my thighs.

My 6 feet 4 inches mean that I'm also big in the private region, which translates into the fact that Jen couldn't sink me inside her fully. When with her body's weight did seat me inside her completely I had nowhere else to go and thus penetrated through her cervix directly into her womb. Because this time she didn't try to sink me fully into her, her tight luscious butt also didn't hit my thighs everytime she lowered herself on me..

As far back as I can remember I have never received enough stimulation to orgasm when my dick was pointing upwards.

And I don't mean the visual stimulation, because my point of view is a great view... bouncing breasts, muscles straining, the pleasure on the woman's face..., but I never receive enough physical stimulation to reach an orgasm. I don't know why, maybe it's because I'm pointing up or something. It's definitely not some supposed issue with the woman being in control. I sure as hell don't have a problem with a woman being on top, literally or figuratively.

Just as long as we take turns.

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	8. Chapter 8

Which all leaves me humming with a buzz of arousal and hormones while Jen's wearing that look on her face that Painter called "freshly fucked". I won't be able to go to sleep, much less get that satiated calm and afterglow only a good orgasm gives.

Jen's still coherent enough to cooperate and I quickly shift her on all fours on the bed, immediately filling her with my length.

Putting her head down on the mattress she valiantly makes attempts at cooperation, but the post-coital glow is getting to her too much.

I hate to be so selfish with the woman who's given me so much during the past few years, her friendship, her support, her help, and now her heart and her body, but I know from experience that if I don't do this I'll be testy and irritable for the rest of the day. Lack of release after getting so turned on always had that effect on me. I speak from experience. It's best for her as well as for me and I love her too much to ever want to submit her to that side of my personality.

I'm huffing and puffing, severely out of breath, my lungs are burning with the effort of trying to bring enough oxygen to fuel all the muscles in use.

Just another reminder that I'm no longer 20. But, unlike then, I now have experience to really satisfy a woman. Hell, now I know full well what a G-spot is and where it is and I'm doing my best to hit it on my every stroke. On another hand, I'm glad I'm not 20 anymore, cause then I would have to wait 21 years to finally get together with Jen, with 'the one', the one I know I'll spend the rest of my life with.

I try to hold back as much as possible, but I still know she'll be sore in the morning. She's still participating 10 minutes later, moaning with pleasure even though I'm sure she's not capable of orgasming one more time. The position, the depth I am achieving and the feel and sight of her in such a submissive pose and behaviour, her lovely heart-shapped ass and her muscular back splayed out in front of me for me to caress, please the caveman in me.

I'm sweating like a pig, drops of the salty water are literally flowing down my body, pooling in the riverbed between the left and the right side of her back. She's glistening with her own sweat too and I bend down slightly to lick a few drops off her back, causing her to arch in response. Then I abandon her back and start licking and biting the back of her neck, making her whimper with midless passion.

I can only imagine what a scene we must make, Jen's whimpers, moans and groans echoing in the large hall-of-an-apartment, my grunts as her chorus and the whole place positively reeking of sex. Wonder if we'll get the smell out of ourselves even if we shower. For some reason I wouldn't mind if we wouldn't...

I don't know if I'm trying to achieve the impossible or not, but I'm furiously working on Jen's clit and striking her G-spot on every thrust to get one final orgasm out of her. Leaning forward I sink my teeth into the soft skin over strong muscle where her neck and shoulder meet, to hold her in place for my thrusts, and then I really start shoving, all the while pinching her clit and her nipples almost roughly, knowing that she's so aroused that a small amount of pain just hightens her arousal.

After about 10 seconds Jen starts quaking again, overwhelmed by so many stimulations from so many different sources, sobs of exhaustion and completion coming from her throat, and her muscles start fluttering, which is what pulls me over the edge as well.

As per SOP for a fourth orgasm I barely squeeze out a drop and then I collapse forward onto her, driving her into the soft mattress. Knowing I'm too heavy for her I force myself to move and ignore her protest when I slowly pull out of her.

But then I realize I don't have the strength to do it and just collapse back on her, pushing my softening length back inside her warm, slimy haven, drawing a pleased moan from her. She obviously wants me here and until I gather enough strength this is where I'll stay. On her, in her. I just hope that the workout of the last 12 hours isn't too much for my heart. Now that I found her I don't want to lose her just because I overdid it and had a stroke.

I can feel exhaustion pulling me over and the last thing I sense is Jen slinging her leg around mine in a possessive gesture. Not because she regards me as her property, but because with what we did we also declared a commitment to each other. Neither of us is the shallow type, so we don't take sex and relationships easy. Having made love we've also entered a relationship, something understood by us both. The only belonging we claim is of our hearts and minds. She's asleep immediately after that. I barely manage to put a kiss on the back of her shoulder before I drift off from exhaustion and sexual satisfaction.

--

This time I wake up from cold air assailing my body. I open my eyes blearily to see Jen walking, or trying to, towards the bathroom.

I feel guilt for making her hurt, especially when trying to make her feel good, while a small part of me, the caveman, is smirking smugly. It's yet another mark of his on _his_ female, his _mate._

I can clearly hear the sound of a toilet being used, then water in the sink running, before the door opened and she came back. She didn't take a shower, probably too tired and sore for the job, which makes the possessive and territorial side of me dancing in glee. She smells of me now, not just because of my seed on and inside her, but also because of the close contact we've been having lately.

I grin mischeviously at the thought that later we can take a shower together, wash each other and see where that takes us. If we're in condition to pursue anything in that line of thought, that is.

She's still walking stiffly when she comes back and she lets out a groan as she climbs into the bed. I feel a compassionate twitch of pain from my own abused groin. Sometimes I really hate the fact that I'm no longer 20 and such sexual marathons make me into an invalid rather than an energized bunny, like they did a few decades ago.

"Sorry." I mumble and I really am. I'd never want to hurt her, especially not in pursuit of pleasure.

This is the first real word we've exchanged today, from the moment I entered my apartment and saw her only moans, groans, cries of ecstasy and screams of completion have been heard, but no real words.

"S'okay." she whispers and gives me a soft kiss on my lips, which I immediately reciprocate.

This kiss is different.

The previous ones were about lust, passion, desire, pure sex; but this one is more. This one is about feelings, caring, afffection, friendship that is much more, it's about the life-long commitment we've pledged to each other, it's about love.

When the need to breathe becomes the most dominant need we break apart and just lean our foreheads against each other.

Our breaths mingling, lips almost touching and eyes locked, I finally speak.

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REVIEW!


	9. Chapter 9

**canuck:** primal, you say. Good, then that means I did my job right. I want them to not only have attraction and love to bind them, but also something on a more primitive, spiritual, primal level. I'm glad I succeeded.

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"Hey."

"Hey." she whispers back, our lips just milimeters apart.

"You okay?" I manage to mumble.

"Oh yeah." she purrs. "Better than okay. Way better."

"Good. But maybe we should take a shower."

She yawns lazily and there's nothing to indicate she'll move any time soon. "Yeah, I'm all sticky and I smell of you and of sex, but I don't wanna." to prove it she drags herself on top of me to prevent me from moving us.

Her hot core, slick from our joint juices is pressed against my length, her labiae maior are parted and on either side of me, holding me in a warm, wet and sticky embrace. I feel her own body respond to my parting her lips, pressing against her clit with the thick vein on the underside of my penis, as suddenly my length is drenched anew with her juices. Even though she's exhausted, her body is already prepping for another round. My pulse begins to pick up speed in response, but the familiar hardening is nowhere to be found. Which is no wonder after the kind of workout we had...

"I like having your scent all over me. It pleases me on a completely primitive level to know that I belong to you now. When I woke up I couldn't help but rub some of your sperm into my skin, on my belly and my chest. I don't know why I did it, but probably because I want your mark on me." she blushes heavily and looks away, while I'm trying to process this piece of information. Well, if nothing else, I'm definitely getting hard again. There's a pause of about a minute during which she's gathering courage to speak again "For some reason I just like to smell of you, to have your scent all over my body. Too bad I can't bottle it up so I could smell like you all the time."

I chuckle. "Or you can rub against me every day to get it." then, grabbing one of those luscious muscular buns in my hand I add "Or we can do this every day."

She sighs dreamily. "Mmm. That's the best proposition I've had in years."

That stuns me. I've seen hundreds of men hit on her through the years, yet my playful come on was the best proposition she got? This is all the confirmation I need to be sure of her feelings for me. As if I wasn't sure of them when I found her naked in my apartment...

"Then I'm an idiot." I declare.

"Why?" she asks, confused.

"Because I didn't make it sooner."

Her eyes soften and a fond smile curves her lips. "Oh, Harm. It wasn't the right time before. Ignoring the fact that I was still in the Navy, we weren't ready until now to make this step. If we had tried it we would've ruined everything."

She's right and I have no problem admitting it. "You're right."

She grins. "Of course I'm right. I'm always right."

"Well, not always," I grin and kiss the tip of her nose quickly "but a lot of the time."

Changing tack I mention off-handedly. "That was some way to greet me back home."

An impish grin, so _her_, curves her full lips. "Did you like it?"

"_Like it?_" I gasp. "I loved it! You almost gave me a heart attack when I noticed you weren't wearing any panties. I don't think I ever got that hard that fast ever before, even at 20. That was some pose, woman!"

"Good." grinning she pecks me on my lips. "For a moment I thought you were going to run out of the apartment."

I sober up. "For a second there I almost did." I confess haltingly. It's always been hard for me to share my feelings, but I'm making an effort. And I hope that counts for something. "For a moment of doubt I didn't know if it really was an invitation, if you really wanted to move us forward, if I haven't just misread all the signals or not. I was afraid that I've gotten it all wrong and would destroy our friendship if I followed your signs."

Her eyes soften at that. "Oh, Harm." she says with that fond tone wives use when their husbands do something stupid, but they still love those husbands despite, or perhaps because, of it. "I'm glad you decided to stay."

"Me too." well, I may be a lawyer, but when it comes to talking about feelings I suck. There's just one thing I have to know.

"Jen, about earlier... I didn't use any kind of protection. Honestly, I wasn't even capable of thinking of anything but screwing your brains out, I just assumed you took care of it given the fact that this was premeditated. Are you safe?"

She smiles at me reassuringly and gives me another loving peck on my lips for being thoughtful. "I started taking the pill when I resigned, because I didn't want to endanger your career, IF I succeeded in making you mine, by getting pregnant immediately and that way giving proof to anyone claiming we were together before I left the Navy. There are only 2 percent of possibility I'll get pregnant while on the pill. You're good..." her voice lowers meaningfully and her eyes go south, making my abused member harden even more "...but not that good."

She dons that familiar impish grin of hers and I can't help but return it with my own smile. She truly is amazing.

Anew, I wonder at how lucky I am to have such a wonderful woman love me.

--

The way she phrased it warms my heart. It sounds like I'm the only man she even considered as a sexual partner and thus the only one being in the position of even trying to impregnate her, intentionally or not.

It's a damn good feeling to know that there's a woman to whom you mean so much that she'll wait for you until you're ready, without even thinking of taking it up with another man, much less doing so, in the mean time. It's an almost new feeling, 'almost' because Diane was like that, she namely waited until we could be together, forsaking other men in the meantime. While I did flirt with other women I never took it further with them. Not even with Maria, who made it plainly clear she wanted me. But it wasn't wrong just because I was with Diane, but also because that would be breaking the unwritten codex of male friendships... you don't sleep with your friend's girl, either current or ex, no matter how much she tries to entice you or how sexy you find her. When I met Keeter in Cuba both of us knew I was talking bullshit.

Thankfully, eventually Maria understood that and when she once saw Diane and me together, she also understood the whole picture. She's a good woman and Roberto is one lucky man to have her for his wife now. I mean, she agreed to be a cover for Diane's and mine relationship, so we could keep it hidden until we were ready for the others in the Navy to know. That doesn't mean Diane and me were celibate though. We stole whatever time together we could, whatever downtime we could plan on coinciding was spent together, somewhere in the middle between our posts, just so we could spend as much of it together and not with one in transit to the other. Even though we made love much of the time we were together we still spent some just being together without the sex. Our relationship wasn't based on the physical.

Either way, we were exclusive and were just waiting for the right time to take our relationship to the next level, become public. Diane had asked for a transfer and I intended to ask her to marry me on the night she was murdered.

We had so many plans for our future, we were so looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together, getting married, buying a house, having kids. Making those kids... Just growing old together.

But we never could. No matter how long it's been since he died I'll always hate Holbarth for taking the opportunity for a life away from her, doesn't matter if a life with me or someone else or even alone. She was so young, had so much to look forward to, so much more life to experience. And it was taken from her so early, so cruelly and so selfishly, just so she wouldn't report that rat bastard. Even though he died in another way I still regret not putting a bullet between his eyes myself and decorating the hull of his precious ship with his gray matter.

Only Diane and Jen cherished and loved me enough to give me time, to forsake all others for me until I was ready. No other woman ever did that.

Ever.

--

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	10. Chapter 10

Last chappy.

Please review so I'll know whether to finish another smut fic (that one is Christmas smut) I've been writing!

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Then she smiles a truly devilish grin. "But you can try to beat those two percent if you wish..."

"You sure you don't mind getting pregnant?"

The twinkling of her eyes clue me in even before her words do. "Can't say I do. I want to have children while I'm still young enough to enjoy the pregnancy and not have it tire me out, and I also want them for you. More than that, I want them with you and only you. I know you want kids. You're also 12 years older and I want to get pregnant while _you're _still young enough to be able to keep up with them, to survive the sleepless nights."

At her words I feel warmth flood my heart, combating the wince that rose up when she mentioned our age gap. It matters to me that I am older than she is, but for once I will not let my insecurity destroy my chance for happines. The age difference doesn't bother Jen, so why should it matter to me?

While my heart knew in the first place that this wasn't just a no-strings attached fuck, my head still needed proof. Her statement about wanting kids with me is all the proof I'll ever need to know that Jen's as serious about me as I am about her. We're making life-altering lifelong decisions here, cooperatively, and it's as easy as brushing teeth. I don't know about you, but to me that can mean only good for the longterm.

At the same time I feel depressed over having waited this long with finding the one, with starting a family. I'll be 60 when my first child graduates from High School!

And I've got a bad feeling that the only other 60 year olds there will be the graduatees' grandfathers. I just hope our kids will have skins thick enough not to let the barbs and insults of their peers over them having such an old father from affecting them.

And it will happen, it's inevitable. Kids can be unbelievably cruel. That innocence and purity is sometimes just a myth that has no basis in reality. And now my kids will pay for my single mindedness when I didn't follow my baser instincts while I was recuperating with Diane's help at grandmother's farm. I should've then just dragged Diane to the nearest Justice of Peace and had him marry us. History would've gone so differently then. We wouldn't have gone without seeing each other for years, Diane wouldn't have been killed, I wouldn't have gotten involved into that stupid and destructive "dance" with Mac, which btw. was the biggest mistake of my life. I wasted 8 best years of my life on her and have nothing to show for it, just pain, heartache and a ruined career.

Well, there is one good thing from it all, one VERY good thing. Jen. But how do you reconcile the fact that for your current happiness the person you loved more than anything else had to die? How can you choose which woman you love is worth more?

Fact is, if Diane had lived I never would've met, gotten to know, and come to love Jen. Her life would've also gone differently, she would've been dishonorably discharged from the Navy and back into the life of crime. Her life would've been so much worse, contrary to how good her professional life is now. And, dare I say, her personal as well.

But for that Diane had to die. The first woman I loved the way an adult loves another adult, not a teenage love as it was with Gym. The woman who stood by me when I was seriously thinking of ending my own life, who gave my life meaning, who stood by me through all of that long and pain-filled recuperation from the ramp strike and learning to walk again, who even reserved her own commission to do it, resulting in her being passed up for 2 promotions, the woman who made such an impact on me and my life and who's untimely and cruel death has scarred me for life. And I know I'll never get rid of this scar, nor am I sure I want to. Because that's the last influence she herself had on me.

Diane and Mac are physically identical, but personality-wise they are complete opposites, just as Mac and Jen. But Diane and Jen are not physically identical nor opposites, but look quite similar, both brown-haired, brown-eyed, with figures that make women jealous as hell and that have men drooling when they see them. But there's more to them than just fantastic bodies, the more where they are so identical. They are/were (how the hell do you compare a person who is alive to how a now-dead person once was?) both warm, loving, giving, friendly, devoted, loyal, selfless, generous, caring,... and there are so many other positive adverbs that I could use for them that I could go on for years. As it is in my experience extremely rare with physically top-scoring women, and I've known many over the years, Jen's and Diane's inner beauty far outshines the physical.

My mind took me for an interesting trip, but Jen's talking again and I have to leave my musings and give her my full attention. Not only because she deserves it, but because I want to.

"And since I want more than just one we'll have to start right away. I'll go off the pill immediately and we can start working on our first baby. But until the ovulation suppressant wears off, which will take a few weeks, there's nothing to stop us from practicing." her eyes twinkle in challenge, a challenge I can't decline.

Answering her challenge, I quickly push her on her back and roll onto her, slipping my already-hard-again length deeply into her, bringing such a groan of ecstasy out of her that it almost makes me cum again by itself.

I know there's still a lot we have to talk about, like my future career plans, and a lot of things we still have to do, like me getting Jen before a Justice of Peace as soon as I can, and we'll definitely do all that. But for now we just want to enjoy our time together and make love until we can't walk anymore. Which is, given how many times we made love in the last 24 hours, pretty imminent.

As I pull out and surge back into her again, adding a mixing motion and making her moan and clench around me, I can't help but grin.

"So, pretty lady, get ready to be inseminated." I drawl and in reward I hear the sweetest sound ever.

The sound of Jen laughing from happiness.

THE END

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